


Five Burgers Of The Day That Didn't Make It To The Menu

by SaraJaye



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Food, Gen, Gross Food Combinations, Restaurants, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 09:49:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3483731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what it says on the tin. Not all Bob's ideas are good ones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Burgers Of The Day That Didn't Make It To The Menu

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bring_me_sugar](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=bring_me_sugar).



1\. The One Rad Apple Burger

Apple-smoke flavoring worked for bacon and pork and ham, so why not beef? Plus, Linda was on an Osmond Brothers Nostalgia Kick and wanted to use the name. Bob figured it couldn't hurt and made a batch of beef flavored with apple cider, formed it into patties and served them with slices of apple on top.

Even Teddy couldn't finish his during the taste test. That's how awful they were.

 

2\. The Meat the Buns Burger

"It's all the rage these days, Bob. People wanna cut down on carbs so they use meat for buns," Mort told him. In hindsight Bob should have known it was a bad idea from the get-go; the meat "bun" would be too greasy to hold and the bread in the middle would get soggy and the lettuce would wilt. And the name sucked.

But for the sake of attracting a new customer base, he gave it a try. This time Teddy was the _only_ one who liked it for having twice as much meat, and even he complained it was too greasy.

 

3\. The Read It And Wheat Burger

Another attempt to get in good with the health food crowd, Bob wrote up plans for a wheat-germ burger on a whole wheat bun. He experimented many times with different levels of beef and wheat germ before coming up with the right balance, waited a week for the whole wheat buns to arrive and topped the whole thing with lots of vegetables.

Unfortunately, this led him to realize that most health food folks didn't come to burger joints in the first place so there was really no point. And even more unfortunately, he'd made enough of the burgers that his family was stuck eating them for a week afterwards.

 

4\. The Gruel To Be Kind Burger

It was Tina's fault. She was reading Oliver Twist for a school project and one of her assignments was to incorporate a theme into something modern. Unable to say no to his favorite and only grill worker, he sighed and figured it couldn't hurt.

Of course it flopped. Gruel was gross, slopped out all over the place and Tina ended up having to come up with a whole different project. Luckily, she got an A.

 

5\. Happy Burger-Day

A cake shaped like a hamburger would have been one thing, but Bob took it a step further by making an actual burger with plain cake buns and ketchup frosting. This one didn't even make it past the planning stages before he realized what a disaster it would be.

Fortunately, customers responded positively to having a single candle put in their burger on their special day. Or at least didn't get offended, probably because one candle gave no clue to their actual age.


End file.
